"The Sportsman" - Most readily identified by the seventy-five different bumper stickers on the back of his new lifted F-150. He's got all the gizmos and gadgets—Powerpole? Absolutely. He camped out in front of Bass Pro to get the new Humminbird system. He tried to make some "side-income" bassing professionally in club tournaments for a while until he realized it's very tough to turn a profit by tournament fishing.
"The Newbie" - We've all been here. This guy asks you why you aren't casting out into the deepest part of the lake. How did we all not know that the deepest part of a lake is the best place to fish? Newbies think bass fishing is like the brainless "sit-and-wait-powerbait" trout fishing they do on the occasional weekend. These guys usually get attracted to the sport via a friend or MLF tournament on TV. They'll try bassing for a few weeks with little success. Finally, they give up and return to yard work on weekends.
"The McGyver" - Cares little of how ridiculously redneck his boat and gear look. He's down to save a few bucks at personal expense. He will go to extreme lengths to retrieve a snagged lure. "I'm sure these people won't mind me in their front yard. After all, this senko was expensive!"
"The Philosopher" - Fishing isn't mandatory. These guys are just out for a good time on a calm lake. They love the quote by Henry David Thoreau, "Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not the fish they are after." These guys need to pick up a fly rod.
"The Addict" - Has a severe fishing issue. The wife is ready to leave him over his fishing habits. Like a gambler, he waits for his next strike and can never get enough. The endorphins flow when that big mama nails his topwater before work. All fishermen are addicts, but the true addict goes to much more extraordinary lengths for his fix.
"The Politician" - Always has the best fishing stories until you realize he always has the best stories and can never prove them. For some odd reason, there's never a camera or other person around to prove the tales.
"The Banker" - Professional at bank, dock, and boat launch fishing. These guys nab some great catches and often bring their families along for the day. I've seen too many articles in the paper about twelve-year-olds who reel in state-record quality fish on a worm and bobber. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to get my first bass over eight pounds!
"The Magician" - Superstitious about everything- Lucky boxer shorts, huh? If I had a lucky piece of clothing, I sure haven't found it. Let's not get into the guys who "don't wash" after a good outing.
"The Trophy Hunter" – Finds a deep weed bed and casts twelve-inch swimbaits all day in search of the state record. Has the most patience in the world. Once every blue moon he comes up with a Goliath bass and convinces everyone they have to buy a swimbait. Everyone tries the new swimbait for a few hours before boredom sets in, and they go back to business as usual. If you don't know of this guy, watch a Butch Brown video on YouTube.
"The Mad Scientist" – This is Homer Circle. These guys enjoy figuring out how the fish tick. Telemetry studies are their favorite! Forget catching the fish; sometimes observing is more fun. These anglers will challenge you on everything you thought you knew about bass fishing.
"The Journalist" – Documents any and every catch. He worries about whether that one-pound dink will be the only fish of the day, so he takes a photo of it anyway. Before you're off the water, that one-pounder is up on Facebook and seventy-five other social networks, and the comments are flowing in. These guys are saving for Christmas to buy themselves a GoPro helmet cam!
"The Natural" – He's just an average guy, but darn he's good. He posts pictures and detailed fishing reports at his local lake and always kills it. He doesn't fish tournaments or for bragging rights and is just a nice guy. You eventually convince yourself it must be the lake until you fish it and get skunked. Maybe he's just using an Alabama Rig but won't tell anyone.
"The Lock Jaw" - You can't get anything from this guy. He tells you fishing was "Okay," while later on, you find he won the tournament. This guy thinks telling you a general fishing report over a multi-thousand-acre reservoir will ruin the fishing. You could be on Lake Fork fer-cryin-out-loud, and he still wouldn't tell you whether his spinnerbait trailer was white or crème. Of course, this guy hounds everyone else for their fishing reports, though.
Every fisherman is every one of these personalities all at once. What brings us together is a passion for the great outdoors and the next bite.
